BIG MILESTONE: 30 WEEKS!!!!

Hooray!!! I have made it to 30 weeks. It definitely feels different when I tell people I'm "30 weeks" rather than 29 :-) It feels like the big day is getting really close and we are running out of time to get stuff done. On top of our ever-growing To-Do List, my calendar is really filling up over the next 2 months! I have projects I need and want to finish....one being my mosaic bird bath.

Other things on my To-Do list include:
- dinners and happy hours with friends & couple friends we need to catch up with now....because it may be awhile before it happens again...
- baby showers!!!
- bi-weekly and then weekly doctor appointments
- dentist appointment
- hair appointment
- classes for me & hubby to prepare to bring a baby home
- dog training...as a group, to prepare our 4 dogs for Punkin's arrival
- get Dr. Seuss pages framed and up in the nursery
- get all my picture albums caught up...because I know there are going to be tons of new pictures soon!
- take all my photos now in individual frames and organize them into the multi-picture frames
- Church
- as many Yoga classes as I can fit in
- pack bag for Hospital stay
- my Birthday!
- lots of Girl Time with my Chicks: HHs, Movies, Slumber Parties, Plays, Shopping....SPA WEEKEND!
- of course I still have to work 40 hours/week

.....that is just in the next 2 months. And I'm sure I'm leaving some things out.

This isn't even touching on Bobby's own To-Do list....which is probably longer than mine!

I am happy to say that we are marking one To-Do off this list this weekend....road trip to see my Grandma in Lubbock. She is my FAVORITE grandparent, and always has been. I was her 1st grandchild and I always new I had a special place in her heart. I even suspected...and still do...that I was/am her favorite, but she will never admit it.
She hasn't been doing very well for a couple of months now and I have been trying to fit this trip in for awhile. So we are finally taking it this weekend....and I am really looking forward to seeing my Amma and other family & friends I haven't seen in way too long.
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Groundhog Day

I have always loved Groundhog Day. The only reason I can think of is because it means Spring is just around the corner. 6 more weeks of winter or not....I can handle it.

This morning Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow in Punxsutawney, Pa. predicting winter will last for 6 more weeks. For the last 122 years, Phil has seen his shadow 97 times, and hasn't seen it 15 times. (That is one really old groundhog.) But seriously, Phil lives in Pennsylvania, and it's Feb 2...of course they are going to get 6 more weeks of winter.
But what does that mean for Austin TX....really?!?! From what I've noticed, it doesn't really mean 6 more weeks of winter for us...maybe half that. It seems that when March gets here (just 1 month away), we start getting our Springtime. And I am so ready!

Side Note: I met my husband on Groundhog Day 2006. Another reason for me to appreciate this day every year.
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To Breed Or Not To Breed...

my ramblings...

Bobby and I had a quick, but thought provoking conversation over dinner last night. I am not even sure how it came up, but he absolutely pegged the feelings I was having. He shares my worry and anticipation.

I worry about being a Mom. Will I be a good one, or just completely terrible at it? I already feel too busy...never enough time to finish all the projects I've already started. Not to mention all the ones I want to start and haven't yet.

Am I too set in my ways to change my lifestyle as necessary for a child? I have been living my life for me (and screwing it up) for over 30 years, how do I start living my life for someone else (and not screw theirs up)?
I appreciate my quiet evenings at home surfing the net, or watching TV, or reading a book....that will be gone for many years. I appreciate my alone time with Bobby...how will that be affected with a new edition?
I love to shop and get a high buying new clothes or things for the house. There are still so many things I'd like to get for the house, and home-improvement projects that we've talked about doing for awhile. Will that all fall to the wayside? I know priorities shift, but those things are important to me too.

Will there ever be enough money, or will it be a constant struggle? I've seen the dollar amount they attach to the price of raising a child and it freaking scares me! How do people do it? We are fine financially, but I still get grounded from Target from time to time...and Bobby feels that we are never putting enough in savings.
And then there is this... I really want to give my child/children everything. Everything. My husband & I have already begun that battle. And it doesn't look good for my side.

Will I regret it? Will I always wonder how our lives would have been different if we had not fallen into the trap of thinking we had to pro-create?
Worse than that......Would I regret it even more if we don't have children?

Is it even fair to bring a child into this world? Is it completely selfish not to?

My feelings about this are pretty much on a non-stop roller coaster and they have been for awhile. The highs and lows are not daily or weekly...each turn of my feelings lasts much longer than that. Usually something gets in my head to cause the change in direction.
Obviously I am currently in the questioning phase... It just so happens that I will be spending some time with a friend and her 6 month old this weekend. I wonder if that will change my direction again....or put me deeper in my current phase...

I think if Bobby was super excited and completely sold on the idea of having kids then that would most likely sway my feelings. Problem is, he is not. He has the same worries and questions I do, and he goes through his own phases with this.

Since we are now both in the same phase, maybe we are making the right decision by going to church on Sunday. It might be best to take this to a higher source.
~~~